Archive for May, 2011

LONELINESS
May 19, 2011

Why didn’t I smack that tiny spider? I first saw it like a dust puff on my curtain.  It was smoky gray, as small as a number.      Usually, I killed spiders, or if I could, I would catch them and put them outside on a plant to spin their hungry dreams, but this leggy creature and I were the only living things in a rambling,  lonely house in the desert.

At first, I saw him near the bottom hem of the curtain.  Later, when I looked for him again, he had meandered to the side of the curtain and seemed to be peeking over the edge. Was he looking for something, or someone he lost?

I couldn’t help but look for him the next day.  He lifted a leg as if to wave.   He advanced cautiously up the curtain cliff, like a mountain climber seeking his footing.  Curious, I let him be. I sat down to see where he would go next, but he pulled his spindly legs in and waited, too.  “A-ha.  So we are observing one another.”

He  disappeared into the soft folds of the curtain. Was he just adventuring, like a pioneer trying to find a piece of land to call his own? Or was he trying to hide from the world, or from my searching eyes, my hurting heart, my long, lonely days?

The curtains were showing a haze of dusty gray, and I knew I should take them down to clean them, but what would  become of my new friend?

Then, I lost him. I shook the curtain gently.  I peeked behind the gritty veil. Did he wander away to die, like the Indians of old?  Will I find him as I chase the flimsy cobwebs from the ceiling?  Will I see him as the sun sparkles on the swaying remnant of his tether?  Will I ever him again?

How could a lowly spider stir my soul and fill my life with wonder?  How could he become my excitement?  How could he interrupt my days with his frolic across my window covering?

Loneliness is once again upon me like a shroud.

My Definition of Writing
May 17, 2011

Writing is a compulsion–an irresistible impulse, an unsatisfied appetite for unlimited imagining,  for unfettered creation.

Waking in mid-sleep, I have this tantalizing vision.  The emerging dawn feeds the desire to enhance the night revelation with exotic elements, salient modulation, and energizing expression.  Hours and countless phrases later, my physical appetite overtakes my penchant for words.  My “moving picture” is put on pause, but my creative brain continues to race.  With my sticky fingers, I grab my newly sharpened sword and swing into action to trap the ensuing images for further exploration and exposure.  I continue to work tirelessly to bring my readers “uninterrupted  viewing” in “living color.”

My gift is to create!

My creation this time is  verse:

Writing…

Compulsive control——Consuming continuity——Pervading passion

Tantalizing torment——Vacillating views——Crafting characters

Imagining imagery——Broadcasting beliefs

Productive loneliness

Filling dreams

Writing.